Today, boys and girls, you’re in for a treat: I’m turning The Progressive Redneck over to a guest blogger, my boyhood friend and idol, Jefferson Davis Dudley, a great American. Jeff was born and raised in Volunteer, NC and is a graduate of Little Bethel Free Will Baptist Bible College in Pilot Mountain, NC (not far from the Robert E. Lee Natural Bridge).This caused some trouble between Jeff and his father, a hard-shell Primitive Baptist who couldn’t see the need for all that learning. He believed that a pastor should be uneducated; that way, you knew whatever he said came from God, not man. Jeff’s rejection of Calvinism did not help matters. Because of the tension between them, Jeff moved to Randolph County and founded The Mount Moriah Fundamental Independent Baptist Church. Jeff now resides in the Cedar Square community with his wife, Peggy Ann, and their sons, Ronald (21), Wilson (19) and daughter Reagan (age 9). Jeff and I met when we were boys during my visits to Aunt Nannie and Uncle Wesley’s house (they lived in Volunteer till the day they died). While our views have diverged over the years, Jeff and I have remained friends. When he found out about my blog, he asked if he could contribute a different viewpoint now and then. I thought that was great idea. This is his first post.
First of all, I’d like to thank my friend for the opportunity to address you folks. It’s not often a dyed-in-the-wool, Bible-believing, red-blooded Christian American like me gets the chance to reach a
bunch of heathens group of progressive Christians like this and I am very grateful. Let me begin by saying that I love each and every one of you fine people and would love to share the Good News of Jesus Christ with you. I hope each and every one of you will accept the freely given gift of God’s grace and know true peace. Honestly, I pray for that daily.
Today, I want to talk to you folks about an important matter. It seems that a fine Christian woman has set about writing a family friendly version of those Satan-inspired Harry Potter books. This good Christian soldier (well, not really a soldier. As we all know, ladies can’t be soldiers, if only because they shouldn’t wear clothing as pertaineth to man) is removing every reference to witchcraft and sorcery and replacing it with prayer, miracles and other good
conservative Christian values. I don’t know about you, but I think it’s about time someone stepped up on this.
In her version of the story, Harry’s aunt and uncle aren’t painted as narrow-minded, status-seeking conservatives (which everyone knows isn’t possible), but as hippy-dippy liberals who believe in gender equality (which is totally possible) with Uncle Vernon actually doing housework and Aunt Petunia working outside the home (where she probably wears pants and makeup). Voldemort is re-imagined as a thinly veiled caricature of
the Muslim in the White House President Obama who is “pushing an agenda in congress which will stop us from practicing our faith freely.” The school has been transformed into Hogwarts School of Prayer and MIracles and has been moved from the land of godless socialism England to that shining city on a hill, the good ol’ U. S. of A. Instead of the den of satanic iniquity portrayed in the original books, Hogwarts is now a godly place where boys learn to be warriors for God and girls learn to stay in their place what their role in life truly is. Best of all, before Harry and Hagrid are transported there (via prayer), Harry asks our dear lord and savior into his heart. Finally, a Godly alternative to all that demonic drivel!
If you’re wondering why the author (who goes by the name Grace Ann) is doing this, hear her own words on the subject:
““My little ones have been asking to read the Harry Potter books; and of course I’m happy for them to be reading; but I don’t want them turning into witches! So I thought….. why not make some slight changes so these books are family friendly?” So they can have all the adventure and good morals of the Harry Potter books without all that bad stuff bogging it down.”
What a fine Christian woman. The world could use a few more folks like her.
Of course, some clowns are trying to minimize her contribution to families everywhere by saying Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles is satire on how some folks have reacted to the Harry Potter series. I don’t think so. I believe this is a mother doing her part to keep our young ones pure while we wait for our blessed savior’s return. Saying anything else is sacrilege, maybe even heresy, and should be dealt with severely. The same goes for all you
infidels progressives out there making fun of her. She’s doing God’s work, so when you mock her, you’re mocking God. And, God will not be mocked.
Well, that’s my time. I want to thank you all for taking the time to read this. Remember, God loves you enough to send His son to die for your sins. If you don’t love Him back, He’ll send you to eternal torment in the fires of Hell. Believe me, you don’t want that.