I'm just going to leave this right here...
I’m just going to leave this right here…

The Supreme Court will be deciding the fate of same-sex marriage this session and  the protesters are out in force. From both sides, of course, but I thought I’d take a look at some of the arguments of the folks on the anti- side by checking out their signs. I would say they’re full of shit, but that wouldn’t be nice (maybe even mocking and sarcastic) and I’m trying not to be ugly these days. So, let’s just say I find their logic (not to mention their compassion)…, lacking. Check these out:

  • “Protect marriage and protect innocent children”   By not allowing gay folks to get married? Really? Look, marriage was in the shitter long before same-sex marriage was anyone’s horizon. In other words, we straight folks have fucked it up all by our lonesome. So, why not let people who are LGBT have shot at it. They can’t do any worse than we have. Besides, don’t they deserve the right to be just as miserable as we are? And, as for protecting children, protect them from what? Being molested? Right, because only people who are gay molest children.
  • “Follow God’s Directions: ‘One Man, One Woman'”  I notice you don’t use the phrase “Biblical marriage” anymore, why is that? Maybe because you figured out the Bible doesn’t back up your definition of marriage? So, now it’s “Follow God’s directions”. Tell me, where did you find these directions? Did God send you an email spelling them out? I’m sure all your divorces are just fine, though. While we’re on that subject…
  • “God made them male and female…, and said a man shall be joined to his wife.”  Which sounds really good…, until you read the whole thing and realize that Jesus was talking about divorce and not being gay.
  • “A Child Needs a Mom And A Dad”  Even if that dad is abusive or that mom is an addict? Look, I know you mean well, but seriously you need to stop with this shit because it’s just wrong. I mean, factually, not morally. Well, yeah, it’s morally wrong, too. But, that’s not what I’m talking about right now. There are plenty of kids who are growing up just fine with one parent, two parents, parents of the opposite sex, parents of the same sex, etc. What counts is love. And, not being an asshole (which is not the same thing, but it’ll do for a start).
  • “Today, man marries man. Tomorrow, man has civil union with his dog. Followed by man marrying his dog.”  Seriously? Can you look me in the eye and say, with a straight face, that allowing two consenting adult humans is anywhere near analogous to people marrying non-humans who do not have the capacity to consent?!? Sadly, some of you probably can. I’m not sure what to think about that.
  • “Stop Judicial Tyranny!”  It appears that some folks don’t understand the principle of judicial review, so here’s a quick and dirty breakdown: it is the job of the Supreme Court to look at the laws in this country and determine whether they are in line with the Constitution. You remember the Constitution, right? That’s the piece of paper some of you carry around in your pocket and pull out when it suits your purpose. The fact that you think the Supreme Court fulfilling its assigned duty is “judicial tyranny” leads me to suspect you haven’t spent much time actually reading it, though.
  • “Homo-sex Is A Threat To National Security.”  What…the…actual…fuck? I don’t even know where to start with this one. However, when I googled it to see if I could find where it came from, I saw it on a forum supported by the Landover Baptist Church (a satirical website that parodies fundamentalism and the Religious Right). Hopefully, that means this isn’t a belief that anyone actually holds. Hopefully.

So, do I think this “reasoned argument” against the ideas and beliefs of those opposed to equal rights for people who are LGBT will make a difference? Maybe. Maybe not. Okay, probably not, but a fellow has to try.