One Million Moms: “The Real O’Neals” Makes Jesus Cry

Even this picture has certain Christians in a tizzy. Can you guess why?
Even this picture has certain Christians in a tizzy. Can you guess why?

I know I’m starting to sound like a broken record, but everyone’s favorite blue noses are at it again. Yes, it’s the One Million Moms and, now they have a new target for their ire: ABC’s latest sitcom, “The Real O’Neals”. And, why do they have their knickers in a twist over this show? Their website says it “ridicules Jesus and Christianity”. Maybe, but I have a feeling that the real problem is the fact that one of the characters is gay.

That character would be Kenny O’Neal, a 16-year-old who comes out to his Irish-Catholic family in the first episode. That, along with the fact that Kenny is played by Noah Galvin, who is openly gay, and that Dan Savage is on board as a producer (the show is also loosely based on his life) makes the show, in the words of D’Anne Witkowski, “a gay trifecta” and possibly “a sign of End Times”. If I hadn’t already watched it, that description alone would be enough for it to land on my list.

It’s not just the “gay” thing, though; there are a few other items that have also gotten under the Moms’ skin. Things like Jesus jokes (seen here, beginning at 0:03), the daughter’s “attempts to prove” (their quotes, not mine) that there is no God as a science fair project, and Eileen (Kenny’s mom) making Jesus-shaped pancakes to guilt trip the anorexic older brother into eating. I think their problem with that last one is less about offending Jesus and more about giving away trade secrets.

Of course, the Moms aren’t the only ones with their drawers in a knot. Google “The Real O’Neals Christian” and you’ll find a plethora of pissed off Christians, all incensed over the show’s take on “The One True Faith”. Do the same search on YouTube and you’ll find several videos lambasting ABC and the show for the same basic reason. The best is one titled, “The Real O’Neals TV Show on ABC Mocks Mocks God! (Satanic TeLIEvision EXPOSED)”. Why is it the best? Did you not see the words “Satanic TeLIEvision EXPOSED” in the title?!? Oh, it also ties the show to “an End Times deception”: “acceptance of homosexuality”. That’s right, boys and girls, accepting “homosexuality” (aka treating people who are LGBTQ like fellow human beings) is a sign that Jesus is coming back any day now! Wow, just…, wow.

Of course, all these other dissenters are mostly copying and pasting the information on OMM’s website (or, just reading it out loud on the videos). I guess they’re so upset about gays and Jesus jokes appearing in the same show that coming up with some original content is beyond their capability. I cannot imagine how tiring maintaining this level of outrage must be. Geez, relax people.

If ever a group needed to “Netflix and chill”, it’s this bunch. A nice bottle of wine, a blunt the size of my thumb and some quality television (by “quality television”, I mean, “vigorous boot-knocking”) would be the perfect way for these oh so tightly wound wowsers to de-stress a little. If they tried it, they might find that shows like “The Real O’Neals” aren’t all that bad. I’m not holding my breath until it happens, though.

  • Erin Cox Wilson

    Vigorous boot knocking. Snort. You are my favorite.