That’s Not Love

I hate beating a dead horse, but I guess there are some things that need to be repeated. Perhaps, even, ad nauseam. Evidently, the idea that being loving means attacking people over one of the things that makes up who we are is one of them. I say this because last night I showed my youngest daughter a part of a letter from a young  Taiwanese  woman named Fang yi. Fang yi is gay and her parents are very conservative Christian leaders in her community and they refuse to believe that God would create someone gay. Her family won’t accept as she is and have cut off all communication. She wrote a letter to her father about this situation but, instead of mailing it to him, she posted it on her blog which she knows her father reads. Last night, I showed it to Olivia and she posted the following excerpt as her Facebook status:

“When you stand with those churches that preach loving the sinner but hating the sin and accuse gay people of sinfulness, please look at me. Look into your daughter’s eyes, and tell me how many such “sinners” you personally have known and loved. Tell me how many of those gay people beloved by you ever managed to successfully separate themselves from the core of that within them which you and the church call sinful. Tell me, please, how many, ceaselessly striving to remove from themselves the essence of their own identity, collapsed from that terrible effort. Tell me how many died because of the continuing hatred and denial of something natural to them that was impossible for them to change.” Fang-yi

Shortly after, a little controversy popped up, with one person commenting:

  “We love the sinner but hate,, the sin we all,?ll, e have choices to make. Being gay isn’t a sickness but a sin.  That is not the  way God created us to be and it doesnt bring him honor or glory”

(The rest of the controversy occured during a texting session with her mother, who also believes being gay is a choice.)

To that commenter and anyone who agrees with them, I say this: You may honestly and truly love the sinner and believe that you’re saying and doing these things for their own good. But, let me tell you as the father of an LGBT youth, it doesn’t come off that way. The idea that LGBT people have made a choice and whatever happens to them is their fault is so lacking in grace and love that it makes me sick. When you say gay people are perverts, pedophiles, etc., I get mad and want to yell at the top of my lungs, “That’s my child you’re talking about, asshole!” When someone says God didn’t create gay people, I say God created all people and loves them equally, whoever they are. When people start throwing scripture at me(usually Leviticus 18:22), I tell them to go read the rest of that chapter and see what sins they might be guilty of. When someone says God hates the “sin of homosexuality”, I ask them how can being composed of love (God) hate anything?

I’m sick and tired of watching my daughter’s heart break when people who supposedly love her tell her she’s a dirty sinner who is unworthy of God’s love. Because that’s really what you’re saying with this garbage about loving the sinner and hating the sin, How about you stop talking about love and start practicing it. Maybe then we can get some healing going and truly become the church Christ wants us to be.