So, it seems that Milledgeville’s Ten Commandments “Church” has put up this sign in front of their building:

Pastor-Robert-Lee-Milledgeville-Georgia-Sign-x400[7]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wish I could tell you this is from one of those church sign generator sites or has been photo-shopped, but I can’t. Well, I suppose I could, but I’d be lying my ass off because it’s real.

Just so you know, there will be several terms I’ll use rather loosely in this piece (Helpful hint: look for quotation marks around a word or phrase); starting with “church” in the leading sentence because, to steal a line from Jon Stewart, Ten Commandants is no more a church than Church’s Fried Chicken. Yes, I realize it’s not very nice to the fine folks at Church’s, but I’m sure they understand that sometimes, you gotta take one for the team.

In an interview on a local news program, “Pastor” Robert Lee said he didn’t see anything wrong with the sign, claiming that he is “just quoting the Bible” (Leviticus, you know). Yes, “Pastor” Lee, Leviticuas does say that. And, Jesus backed it up by repeatedly condemning people who are LGBT to hell along with Paul, who taught that we are still bound by the law (you can’t see it, but I’m face-palming right now). It looks like Lee could teach a master’s course in missing the point when it comes to following Jesus.

Now, some folks say we should ignore groups like this and not give them any publicity. Sometimes, I agree with those people. Other times (like when I can get a blog post out of it) not so much. And, sometimes, I’ll write about something when I hear a lot of people repeating ridiculous bullshit. This is one of those times. However, instead of a point-by-point refutation of the “theology” inherent in this view, I thought I’d point out a few other offenses Leviticus 20 specifies as punishable by death:

  • Cursing your mother or father _ In verse 9, we are told that anyone who curses their parents must be executed. By that standard, no teenager would survive to adulthood.
  • Adultery _  Next, it specifies that both parties in an adulterous relationship should be put to death. Upholding this one could have a slightly detrimental effect on church attendance. And, by “slightly detrimental effect”, I mean there would be a lot of empty churches on Sunday morning.
  • Knocking boots with your father’s wife or your daughter-in-law _ All I can about this one is the Israelites were some kinky fuckers. Literally.
  • Marrying a woman and her mother as well _ This one says that all three involved should be “burned with fire”. Not only is that oddly specific, it’s not really much of a punishment. Getting burned alive would be a piece of cake compared to living with your mother-in-law for the rest of your life.
  • Having sex with animals _ Okay, bestiality is like a 1000 on the “icky” scale, so I can sort of understand the ancients being creeped out enough to kill people who engaged in the practice. But, killing the animals, too? What, did they think the sheep was asking for it?
  • Sex with relatives _  I do not understand the need for a law against incest. Why the hell would you want to marry a person who has spent their entire life to irritating the shit out of you?

Except for marrying a woman and her mother, people still commit each and every one of these sins, but I don’t hear Lee and his compatriots calling them a “death worthy crime”. I wonder why.