I’ve started this post multiple times and I’ve thrown out every one of those attempts. It’s really hard to gather your thoughts and put them in writing when you’re not even sure what you think. This morning, my scattered thoughts stem from the bloody 24 hour period that began Thursday (11/12) with bombs being detonated in the southern part of Beirut and culminated in the multiple attacks in Paris Friday evening, resulting in a grand total of 190 dead and 643 wounded. The closest thing to a coherent thought I have on the matter is the same question I asked in the wake of the 9-11 attacks: How can anyone hate so much?

Part of the problem is that my usual method of dealing with such ugliness won’t quite work at this point. Chris Hardwick said once: “Comedians make jokes about horrible things because, as humans, this our defense mechanism for trying to process those horrible things and gain power over them.” I’m not sure I qualify as a “comedian”, but I do use humor as way to help process horrible things. But, I’m having a hard time finding anything funny to say about the awful events of last week. Probably because such comments don’t (and never will) exist, but still. So, what do I do until I find another way to work it all out? How about make fun of the douchey remarks that popped up on social media in the wake of all this misery?

Before the shooting had even stopped, certain conservative figures took to the internet to expound on what the attacks meant to America (we are the center of the universe, after all). And, by “expound on what the attacks meant to America”, I mean “make political hay from other people’s pain and suffering”. Let’s kick things off with this little ditty from Newt Gingrich:
NewtYes, beloved, this former Speaker of the House (who was actually 3rd in line to the Presidency at one time) thought this was a good time to talk about concealed carry permits. To give you a little perspective on just how bad Newt’s judgment was, Erick Erickson, of the ultra-right-wing blog Red State, tweeted:
EricksonYou know, when someone as nuance-challenged as Erickson thinks you’ve gone too far, you might want to rethink your stance.

But, our conservative friends didn’t just limit themselves to guns, brothers and sisters. Not being ones to waste a good contrversy, all manner of douchiness was paraded on Twitter. Journalist (and Bush Administration shill) Judith Miller found a way to use the deaths of innocent people to slam young people:
Miller PCI’ve never been a fan of the politically correct fervor sweeping college campuses these days, but Miller is actually making it attractive. Damn.

As bad as Miller’s idiotic comment may be, it pales in comparison to these two from a couple of lesser lights in the conservative world. Radio host John Cardillo tweeted:
BLM 2Now, initimating that #BlackLivesMatter has, at the very least, been infilitrated by ISIS is pretty shitty. But, it’s nowhere near as shitty as this big steaming pile from MRCTV “Man on the Street” Dan Joseph:
BLM 1Wow. Just fucking wow.

But, the award for the weirdest tweet goes to none other than Ann Coulter, who said:
Coulter TrumpAll I can say about this one is, “What the fuck, Ann?”

Reading all this shit, I thought to myself, “I’ll probably feel different later on, but right now, I think if you’re using these attacks to make political points before these poor people are even cold, you pretty much suck as a human being.” Well, it’s been two days and you know what? I was wrong, I don’t feel different at all.