Christians And The Greater Church of Lucifer

Look at all the folks who turned out to welcome a new church to their community. Don't they just exude the love of Christ?
Look at all the folks who turned out to welcome a new church to their community. Don’t they just exude the love of Christ?

Recently, I found out that, in Norway, “Texas” is slang for crazy. As Sarah Kaplan states in an article for the Washington Post,

“…when a party goes wild, when a soccer match gets heated, when a rare swordfish shoots out of a fjord with a loud noise and a massive splash, there is only one appropriate response: “Det var helt Texas!”

In English, “That is totally texas!”

This may be the most awesome (and accurate) colloquialism ever conceived.  And, some Christians in Old Town Spring, Texas are proving just how brilliant the Norwegians truly are.

It seems that a new church has opened in this Harris County community and folks are not happy about it. The building has been vandalized, the members badgered and made to walk a gauntlet of enraged protesters to attend service. What kind of church, you ask, could provoke a such a response. It probably has a something to do with the name: The Greater Church of Lucifer.

Now, church members have tried to assure the community that they don’t worship Satan or sacrifice animals and that their meetings are more theological discussion than worship. But, the fine Christian folks of Spring aren’t having it. The night of the church’s grand opening (October 30th), protesters lined the sidewalk across the street carrying signs with messages like “God, Yes_ Satan, No!”, “America is for God Almighty”, and “Mary Queen of the Angels crush Lucifer’s head!” According to an article on Raw Story, “The scene was reminiscent of a Westboro protest, small in numbers but big on condemnation. ”

But, the protesters weren’t just locals and perhaps the best line of the whole thing came from outside agitator, I mean “Christian activist” Christine Weick, who said, “This is what we get when we have freedom of religion.” Now, you might think that comment is satirical or comes from a troll, but Weick is an actual person and, as best I can tell, actually believes this shit. You’ve heard of her before, she’s the protester who disrupted a Muslim prayer service at the National Cathedral in D. C., shouting Christian inanities before she was escorted out.

Sadly, Ms Weick isn’t alone in her prejudice. According news reports, a Catholic group performed a rosary and prayed for the community and the nation. What seems to be conspicuously absent from those prayers are the members of the Greater Church of Lucifer. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like if you’re as worried for people’s souls as some Christians claim to be, you’d include them in your prayers instead of harassing them on the street.

I don’t want to make it sound like everyone in Spring is a militant Christian asshole, however. Janet Lynchard, whose daughter owns a business nearby, told reporters, “If I were not a Christian and I saw the way some of the people are behaving here, I would not want to be a Christian because I believe God wants us to love these people because He loves them.” Weick had a response for that kind of thinking, though: “I love you enough to say you either bow now or you will be forced to bow later and it’s too late.” Seriously? You’ve got to wonder if these people actually listen to the crap that comes out of their mouths.

In the face of all the bile and hatred, Co-President Michael W. Ford said, “They have the right to do what they do. And that’s cool with us. But we have a right to believe in what we do too. And we need to co-exist.”  You know, it’s pretty fucking sad when “satanists” are more accepting of differences than people who claim to be part of a part of a religion whose guiding principle is “Love your neighbor as yourself”.