Let’s Talk About Sex, The Sequel

How’s that for a blast from the past? I thought about using this yesterday, but I resisted. Two days in a row, however, was more than I could stand. It’s actually a pretty good message, talking about people using sex for the wrong reason or not caring about the other person in the mix. Who’d a thunk you’d get that from a genre that, let’s face, has a less-than-stellar record when it comes sex. Just when you think rap is all crotch-grabbing and bitches and ho’s, something like this comes along blows your stereotype out of the water. Damn.

So, yesterday, I talked about the  Christian sexual ethic and how we got so screwed up. What’s that you say? You don’t think the way Christians deal with sex is screwed up? Au contraire, mon frere (sorry my sisters, but “soeur” doesn’t rhyme). If you were to look up the definition of “screwed up” in the dictionary, it would say “See Christian sexual ethic”. We’ve got kids killing themselves over their orientation, way too many teens are having babies, girls are told their worth as human beings is directly tied to their virginity and we seem to have our heads in the sand over the issue. What to do? At the end of yesterday’s article I said:

“There is, however, a way out of this: love. And, by love, I mean Jesus’ command to love God and love your neighbor. I’ll go into more depth tomorrow, but a short version is if you love someone, you won’t do things that hurt them”

I said I’d get into this today, so here goes.

Love God and love your neighbor is, in my opinion, the basis for all of the Christian faith. Granted, we suck at it, but it’s still the basis. Suckage aside, you’re probably wondering how one would apply this to sex. Well, first of all, if you love God, you won’t use something God created for a purpose for which it was never meant. We could spend days on what that purpose is, with scientific explanations and theological justifications, but the long and the short of it is, God gave us sex because God loves us. Yes, it makes babies, but it does so much more. You are never closer to someone than you are during sex. This bonding effect lasts longer than the act itself and makes two people one…, if you’re doing it right, of course. If you’re not, it can be hurtful, causing mental, spiritual and even physical damage that lasts a lifetime.

That raises the question “What is “doing it right”? That’s where “love your neighbor” comes into play. If you love your neighbor, you won’t engage in behavior that is hurtful. By hurtful, I mean engaging in sex before you are prepared for all the ramifications (not just pregnancy and STD’s, but all the psychological baggage that comes along with the act). By hurtful, I mean cheating on your spouse or partner. By hurtful, I mean raping someone; either by force or use of drugs. By hurtful, I mean treating your partner as an object to be used and thrown away. By hurtful, I mean taking advantage of someone who is vulnerable in any way. By hurtful…, okay, I think I’ve made my point here.

Pre-marital sex, gay sex, freak-nasty BDSM sex, none of these is a sin. If you’re having sex and someone is getting hurt (unless you’re doing that freak-nasty BSDM thing), you’re doing it wrong. And, that is a sin. The bottom line is sex is good and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Go have some right now. Your welcome.