Today, I thought I’d give you another look at the weird shit I do. If you’re thinking, “Wait, didn’t you already do this?”, you are correct. That’s why the title of this post contains the telltale word “More”. And, why I said I’m giving you “another look”. This one’s structured a little differently, though. I’m giving you a list of shit — with short explanations — instead of similar items grouped in (somewhat) well-constructed paragraphs. Why? Partly because I’m feeling a little lazy and don’t want to do that extra work. But also because this is quicker and will give me more time to work on the fiction that I’d honestly rather be writing. So, without further stalling, here’s a collection of the strange neurodivergent quirks that take up so much of my fucking day.
My Weird-ass Neurodivergent Quirks, Pt. Deux
— I don’t necessarily hate any of my silverware, but I like certain spoons and forks more than others. The hard part is deciding what to use and when. I mean, I do go ahead and scratch the itch and use my favorite spoon now or wait and delay that gratification for a bit?
— Walking in weird ways is another thing I love. When I say “weird walks,” I mean like I’m in Monty Python’s “Ministry of Silly Walks” sketch. I don’t know why. It just fucking feels right. As a rule, this only happens when I’m alone (because masking. Duh) but every now and then, I’ll slip up and do an odd little step before I catch myself. Sometimes, I slide by, and no one notices. Other times, I get one of those, “What the fuck?” looks. It’s not great, but I can usually handle it.
— There are times when I can’t stop fucking talking and others where I can’t make myself talk to save my goddamn life. And I never know which way it’s going to go until it happens. I have yet to figure out how this works or why it happens. Right now, I’m just fucking living with it.
— I carry on deep conversations with inanimate objects. They’re often angry and laced very liberally with profanity. One of the most common happens when I drop something. In those cases, the first word out of my mouth is an irritated “REALLY?” like the thing I dropped has betrayed me some fucking way. This is often followed by “Piece of fucking shit.” It’s not always angry, though. Sometimes, I’ll be encouraging, like, “See, that’s what I’m talking about. Nice job.”
— Not all tasks have a specific order but if they do they must be completed in that order. And if a task has an order and I deviate from it, I have to start over. No ifs, ands, or buts, either.
— I love making deep dives on utterly random shit and then filing away what I learned to be whipped out at the appropriate moment, allowing me to look super fucking smart. That sounds way more intentional than it is in practice. None of it is conscious, it just fucking happens.
— If I don’t know the purpose of a rule, regulation, procedure, etc., it must be made clear immediately. If not, I’ll think it’s stupid and there’s a very strong possibility that I’ll ignore said rule, regulation, procedure, etc. Sometimes, this works out okay and I find a better way to do whatever it is I’m trying to do. Sometimes. The times it doesn’t work out okay? Let’s not get into that.
In the other post about my weird-ass neurodivergent quirks, I said that there would be varying reactions to the items I shared. Some people would be horrified while others would find it hilarious. I don’t know if that’s still true since this list might not seem as horrific as the previous one. But, I kind of feel like I owed y’all this one after all the negative shit I’ve dumped in your lap lately. So, you’re welcome, bitches. Don’t say I never gave you anything.