The Flintstones Bible

davemclane_385809_1[675777]Okay, I’m going to say up front today’s entry might be offensive to some folks. And, if it’s not offensive, you’ll probably find it stupid. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Anyway, every time I hear from the Young Earth Creationists, I’m immediately reminded of the Flintstones. For all you youngsters (or old folks who’ve forgotten your childhood), the Flintstones was an animated television sitcom that ran from 1960-66. It chronicled the lives of working-class caveman Fred Flintstone, his wife Wilma and their friends and neighbors Betty and Barney Rubble. Why do I think of a classic 60’s television show whenever I hear a creationist message? Because, in the world of the Flintstones, humans and dinosaurs existed at the same time. While science tells us this isn’t the case, creationists beg to differ.

I’m not going to lie and say the idea that people and dinosaurs roamed the earth at the same time isn’t appealing. Seriously, how cool would it have been to have a pet dinosaur? And, imagine what women’s lives would’ve been like if they’d had access to the technology Wilma and Betty did. Things like a mini-mammoth vacuum cleaner to keep the cave floors nice and clean and a bird-based sewing machine (beak used the needle) made their lives a breeze. You can probably tell I was a fan of the show. Not as much as my brother, however. Once, he threw out his back and was laid up for several days. All he could do was lay on the couch and watch TV. Now, this was in the days before cablevision made it’s way out to the sticks, so he only had 4 or 5 channels to choose from. One showed Flintstones reruns every afternoon and for the next few months, he related every situation he encountered to the antics of Fred and Barney. And, know that we’re talking about a grown man here.

There are a lot of themed Bibles on the market; maybe the Young Earthers could do a Flintstones Bible.  You know, one where Adam rode a dinosaur and Cain’s favorite meal is brontosaurus ribs, with Abel eating the last one and making Cain mad enough to kill him. Noah could take dinosaurs (male and female) on the ark. I’m just not sure how he’d have kept the T-Rex from eating everything on board. And, when they were building the Tower of Babel, they could use one of those dinosaur cranes like Fred operated down at the quarry. I told you this would be stupid, if not offensive. Don’t get mad at me because you chose to waste 5 minutes you’ll never get back perusing what comes out of my twisted little brain.