Tag Archives: John The Baptist

Donald Trump is the Messiah???

If you’re thinking “What the fuck?” right about now, I don’t blame you. When I heard that shit, I was stunned myself. But, it’s true; Donald Trump is the messiah…, or, more likely, the harbinger of the messiah, a la John the Baptist. Well, according to end times nut case author and lecturer, Thomas Horn, he is.

Horn bases most of his claims about Trump on the words of some Orthodox Zionist rabbis who have reconstituted the Sanhedrin and are pushing to rebuild the Temple. I’m guessing these rabbis view Horn and compatriots as useful idiots who will help them reach that end. Which probably is okay with Horn and his end times believing pals because they think the rabbis are all dirty Jews who will be cast into the lake of fire when Jesus comes back. It’s what you might call a weird evangelical/Orthodox mutual contempt society.

This insanity is way to convoluted to get into with any depth here. Basically, it sounds a lot like this clip of Cartman explaining the 9/11 attacks from South Park’s “Mystery of the Urinal Deuce” episode:

Like I said, a bit much for a blog post. But, here are a few highlights:

  • The End of Days will come sometime next year. This goes back to Daniel’s “time, times, and a half a time” comment. According to an obscure 17th century interpretation of that passage, the messiah will appear and the end times will begin before September 30, 2017 (the end of the year 5777 in the Jewish calendar). Guess Jesus was just kidding with all that “thief in the night” business. What a joker.
  • Horn even goes so far as to say that, in gematria (Jewish numerology), Trump’s name actually means “messiah”. And, I guess it does, if you go down a rabbit hole that makes Alex Jones’ wildest conspiracy theories seem positively sane. If you’re a glutton for punishment and want to read the actual article, here’s a link.
  • He presents 3 bullet points that he feels point to Donald Trump, not as the messiah himself, but as John the Baptist. But, he does say that there is an ongoing effort to research Trump’s genealogy and show that he is a descendant of David. No joke on this point. I don’t think it needs one.
  • Of course, Horn tells us that this messiah the rabbis are saying is about to appear is a false messiah, the Anti-Christ. And, that he believes that Trump isn’t the Anti-Christ. Why? I’m assuming because he thinks a white, American man can’t be the Anti-Christ.
  • Trump is “God’s messenger”. What the hell kind of message God would send through an asshole like Trump, I don’t know. And, what kind of God would choose a semi-sentient hairball for their messenger doesn’t bear contemplation in my opinion.

All things considered, Horn’s pronouncements are not bad. It’s all bullshit, of course, but still not bad; for entertainment value, that is. Horn has some game in this arena, but even with all his “Trump is the messiah” talk, he’s still no William Tapley, the self-proclaimed Third Eagle of the Apocalypse and Co-prophet of the End Times. But then, who is, beloved? Who…, is.

It’s Advent (Sigh) PtIII

My expression whenever one of my friends waxes eloquent about Advent
My expression whenever one of my friends waxes eloquent about Advent

In the continuing saga of my issues with Advent, we talk about yet another of those words connected with it: hope. Now, one of the best things about being a Baptist is that you aren’t bound to liturgical things like the lectionary text. This past Sunday at College Park Baptist Church, that freedom allowed our pastor, Michael Usey, to use the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth to talk about hope.

Zechariah and Elizabeth for years had desperately hoped for a child. Unfortunately, it never happened for them and, as old age sat in, they had pretty much given up on it ever happening. Then, one day, as Zack was carrying out his priestly duties, the angel Gabriel appeared to him. When he told the old boy his hope for a son would be fulfilled, Zack didn’t believe it. Can’t say as I blame him; if someone told me I was going to father a child, I doubt I would’ve been as nice as Zack was((especially in like of certain measures that were taken years ago)). And, what did Zack get for his easily understood reaction to such a pronouncement? Gabriel struck him dumb until his wife had the baby. Sometimes, God (or his representatives) can be a real asshole.

Hearing this story yesterday, I that hope is a funny thing; when our dearest dream actually comes true, it is often unbelievable. Zechariah had longed for a son and when he found out that longing would be fulfilled, he didn’t believe it. Likewise, the Israelites had hoped for Messiah for years and when they got one they didn’t accept him. Of course, the fact that the Messiah wasn’t what they expected didn’t help.

These days, hope seems hard to come by. Especially since we’ve been hoping for so long without much encouragement. Oh sure, there is plenty of encouragement in the Bible and Christian literature; but let’s be honest, the written word can wear a little thin after a while. I mean, seriously, we’re almost 15 years into the 21st century and equality is a distant dream, the majority of the world’s population lives in grinding poverty and most government respond to a perceived threat with violence and never consider any other. And people are still dying at the hands of those who sworn to protect them((I would mention something about flying cars. But, I’m pretty sure that’s not relevant to this discussion)). How are some words on a page supposed to give me hope in the face of all that?

So, how do we find hope in the midst of all this despair? Honestly, between the news of recent grand jury decisions and the abject racism some people have displayed, I’m finding hope to be a rare commodity these days. I keep asking myself “How do people hope in the face of such injustice? What makes them keep going?” The honest answer to these questions is “I don’t know”. After reading all this, you’re probably wondering if I have any hope at all((I know I am)). Yes, I do. If nothing else, I hope to find a way to keep hoping. God knows, I need it right now.